Spring is Here! Which reminds me of Tom Lehrer's comedy song "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park", whose title unfortunately gives away the joke, and I wonder why Lehrer let that get by him. Perhaps the title was imposed on him by his producers, who are notorious for messing up artistic visions in misguided attempts to pander to the popular will. That is, not Lehrer's producers in particular, but producers in general. For all I know Lehrer's producers are or were gems in human form and the title is merely an ironic joke that's too subtle for my poor brain to grasp. My guess would be that that's not the case but I've been wrong before. More than once, even. Like Fred Saberhagen's time-traveling hero, Pilgrim, I can remember three times in the past century that I've been wrong. (Pilgrim is quite a character.) But he doesn't really have much to do with Spring, or with Tom Lehrer, as far as I know, although, again, it could be that the whole story Saberhagen tells is a coded message, understandable to those in the know, explicating Lehrer's song and it's relation to the season, and how it all traces back to trained aardvarks from Ancient Atlantis.
But probably not.
Showing posts with label atlantis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label atlantis. Show all posts
Monday, March 22, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
It's technically still morning!
Today's random word is 'automatic' (courtesy of this site.)
Automatic MacHinery (1742-1919), one of the Virginia MacHinery's, was an inventory of automatic machinery which he modestly named after himself. His mother's family, the Pluperfects, originated in New Hampshire from a colony of mutant mold spores whose DNA was blended with human DNA by radiation from a fallen meteorite. This unusual ancestry no doubt accounts for MacHinery's long life, although he himself claimed it came from his father's side, on which he was allegedly descended from Ancient Atlanteans. The family tradition of vegetarian aardvark breeding adds some verisimilitude to the claim, although the tradition can be traced back with certitude to no earlier than the early fifteenth century. MacHinery's first invention was inspired by this tradition: a peanut shelling machine which made it much easier to feed the aardvarks. In his old age, MacHinery was heard to remark that it was a wonder the Atlanteans hadn't invented such a machine themselves, and if they had, the continent might well have survived to this day. Based on this comment, some researchers have speculated that the peanut-shelling machine must have been suppressed by enemies of the Atlanteans such as the Muvians, who bought up all the patents before the machines could go on the market. Others, however, have argued that even if MacHinery was descended from Atlantis, he had no better idea of what sank the continent that Plato did, and stories of patent-suppression were no more than propaganda by anti-Muvian partisans. The truth may never be known.
Automatic MacHinery (1742-1919), one of the Virginia MacHinery's, was an inventory of automatic machinery which he modestly named after himself. His mother's family, the Pluperfects, originated in New Hampshire from a colony of mutant mold spores whose DNA was blended with human DNA by radiation from a fallen meteorite. This unusual ancestry no doubt accounts for MacHinery's long life, although he himself claimed it came from his father's side, on which he was allegedly descended from Ancient Atlanteans. The family tradition of vegetarian aardvark breeding adds some verisimilitude to the claim, although the tradition can be traced back with certitude to no earlier than the early fifteenth century. MacHinery's first invention was inspired by this tradition: a peanut shelling machine which made it much easier to feed the aardvarks. In his old age, MacHinery was heard to remark that it was a wonder the Atlanteans hadn't invented such a machine themselves, and if they had, the continent might well have survived to this day. Based on this comment, some researchers have speculated that the peanut-shelling machine must have been suppressed by enemies of the Atlanteans such as the Muvians, who bought up all the patents before the machines could go on the market. Others, however, have argued that even if MacHinery was descended from Atlantis, he had no better idea of what sank the continent that Plato did, and stories of patent-suppression were no more than propaganda by anti-Muvian partisans. The truth may never be known.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Today's post is brought to you by the letter 'C'
Calendula is a flower of some kind, no doubt related to the calendar, judging by the name. I suppose the blooms change color with the months, and the number of petals left tells you how many days have passed. Presumably a product of genetic engineering by the Atlanteans, who got up to a lot of mischief, considering that they were (almost certainly) imaginary. Their ability to adapt to changes in the popular calendars in use is the most amazing aspect of the plant, leading one to suspect that the Atlanteans programmed some kind of simple thought processes into their flowering plant. This, no doubt, is the source of the theory that plants can feel and think. It's not true of plants in general, but Atlantean calendulas can, in fact. Rumor has it that one of Dr. Frankenstein's lesser-know experiments selectively bred Atlantean calendulas for increased intelligence and the descendants of this plant, cross-bred with Venus' fly-traps, tried out for the role of Audrey II the carnivorous plant in Little Shop of Horrors. Unfortunately, her insistence on changing colors to match the months made her a difficult plant to direct, and the producers ultimately decided to use a fake plant and special effects instead.
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