Six days later?

It sounds like the title of some cheesy horror movie. "Six days after they accidentally killed a fellow student, a group of high-school friends discover they student might not be quite dead..."

No.

"The asteroid struck the earth, appropriately enough, on December 31st. Six days later..."

...umm. No.

"The killer plague was released on a Friday. Six days later..."

...it's been done.

Six days after his previous blog post?

No, no, no.

But who is this who insists "no, no, no?" Who asked you your opinion? If I want to write horror stories about revenants or asteroids or plagues or blog posts, who are you to stop me, wise guy?



If I want to write about mad scientists turning their castle tower into a spaceship and the adventures they have with their mechanical man and girl stow-away, then, by golly, I will.

I'll need a villain, won't I? Maybe more than one!

"Calling all villains! Evil Villains needed! Apply now before it's too late! Masterminds to the left, deadly warriors to the right. Sorry, no openings for psycho killers at the moment. Goons down the hall, 2nd door on the right."

"Your name is Hubert Smith?"

"That's right."

"And you're an Evil Villain?"

"That's right."

"Wouldn't it be more appropriate to call yourself something like, oh, Dirk Dastardly or, uh, uh..."

"Lawrence Loathsome? Roger Reprobate? Stanley Slime?"

"Yes, those aren't bad; a little corny, but not bad."

"Or how about Mal E. Volent?"

"Yes, very good!"

Smith waved a hand dismissively. "Names like that are for amateurs. A REAL villain doesn't need a name to be villainous. It's the actions that count."

"Hmm." I considered this for a moment. "I see your point. But that brings up another question: how villainous are you? Can you give me some references?"

Smith smiled. "I'm as villainous as they come. You know that t-shirt? Dragons rescued, princesses kidnapped, no fee too large, no job too easy? That's me in a nutshell."

"Yes, yes, very impressive, but what have you specifically done?"

"It's all in the resume." He nodded at the papers he'd tossed on my desk.

"Ah, yes. Frankly, I don't usually bother to read these..." I mumbled as I fumbled through Smith's resume. "Well, well. You weren't kidding about the dragons or princesses, I see. You really kidnapped three princesses at once?"

"I beg your pardon! Do you suggest I would falsify my resume?"

I looked up at him with (I presume) an expression of disbelief, and raised an eyebrow. "A self-proclaimed evil villain? Falsify his resume?"

Smith dropped his expression of wounded innocence. "Point taken. Well, if you want to check, I should still have have their contact information..." he pulled out a cell phone of some sort and poked buttons vigorously.

I looked back at the resume. "And stealing candy from a baby! You've really covered all the bases, here, haven't you?"

Smith stopped fooling with the phone momentarily. "I pride myself on thoroughness."

"How are you at coming back from defeats that no-one could possibly survive?"

"Three times, so far: an erupting volcano, a fall from dragon-back at 30,000 feet, and caught in a flash-flood."

"Excellent. Well, Mr. Smith, this is all very impressive, but I will want to consider some other applicants before making my decision."

"Of course," Smith murmured smoothly, with an urbanely evil smile. "But do please let me know soon one way or another. I'll need to know in order to make my plans."

"Of course. And do you have that contact information for the princesses?"

"Here you go." He handed me the phone.

"One's still in your dungeon, I see. Very good."

I looked up to see Smith making a wry face.

"Not very good?"

Smith waved a hand. "Don't get me started! The woman's a menace to all that's Evil in the world! I've been considering advertising for a Hero of my own to rescue her, If I can find one dumb enough to do it."

"Well, I'm sorry you're having troubles, Mr. Smith. I'll let you know as soon as I decide."